Category Archives: Stress

Tiresome Travel Troubling

I have known for the last 4-5 years that traveling tends to exacerbate the impact of my narcolepsy, in terms of both my sleepiness and its impact on my overall health. The situation makes tons of sense when I think about it — my schedule gets thrown off, driving and flying for long periods put additional stress on my body, I am not in my own bed, and even changing one time zone can affect my biorhythms. As a result of this reality, I do try to allow myself extra time for recovery when I take a trip. I also do my best to balance my activities while traveling so I do not exhaust myself. Even in the best scenarios, my efforts are only mildly successful, but this current summer has put me into an entirely different place.

Because of my new job, I have already spent far more of my summer working like mad to get things ready for the next school year. So, even before my extensive travel started, I was already run down. Added to that is the fact that my daughter is in between grades 11 and 12, so college visit trips have filled up the second half of our summer. My wife, my daughter, and I visited 6 schools in 4 days during our first circuit after spending a long weekend with friends. The experience was awesome in every possible way, but it also left me reeling for the entire week after our return. And, during that week, we decided that my daughter and I would head to 2 more schools this week preceding a conference my wife is attending. All three of us think this current trip is a good idea, but it also heightened the stress level in our house, particularly as my daughter and I reworked almost an entire week of work. And, I was (and am) painfully aware that the cold I got from our first trip continues to linger. Truly, my sinuses are a mess, and I am definitely worried that I will be paying for these trips with my health well into the coming school year. Underscoring that concern is the fact that our busiest trip is yet to come. My daughter and I will make our third and final trip in the first week of August when we plan to visit 8 schools in 4 states during a 5 day window.

Although I do fear what all this flying and driving will do to me physically, I am thoroughly enjoying the experience. Just today, my daughter and I toured a school in the pouring rain. We would definitely have preferred a sunny day, but we still had a great visit. The school impressed both of us, but even better was the fun we had with each other. We took a train there and back, navigated the local bus system, and even found our way to an Ethiopian restaurant (that my daughter wanted to try) near our hotel. We are both exhausted, and we are getting up early for another visit and tour tomorrow, but we are being good to each other and appreciating the experience. In fact, the trek from our hotel to the train station this morning took us across the campus of a college she had not been considering, but tonight she added it to the list because she was so impressed by it. Our final trip in early August will require me to do a lot of driving (since we will be hitting 4 different states), and that makes me nervous because I know how draining the car travel will be. Yet, knowing that the two of us survived our wacky experiences today, I firmly believe that we can make that last trip work, especially if we are conscious of being kind to one another.

These interactions with my daughter are the thing that makes me the most frustrated about how travel tires me and lowers me ability to stay healthy. She is amazing, and I love spending time with her. I just wish the toll for these trips was not so steep for me. That being said, I would not trade these opportunities for anything. More than anything, I need to step back and recognize how choosing to take these trips does have repercussions. And, I need to remember the importance of this time with my daughter when my health, sinuses, and sleepiness continue to spiral on me over the next few months. I also know that I must be more attentive to taking care of myself to minimize as much as possible the negative impact of these college visits. What I must avoid, though, is letting my compromised health steer me into short-changing my wife, my daughter, or myself in our daily lives.

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Filed under Balance, Driving, Exhaustion, Family, Frustration, Gratitude, Humility, Illness, Insights, Joy, Love, Narcolepsy, Parenting, Scheduling, Sinuses, Stress, Travel, Wisdom

Stress Saps, Stinks, and Slows — for Sure!

The past two weeks at my new job have been insane. As the “technology integration specialist” at my new school, my primary responsibility is to get technology into classes and curriculum, but to do that there needs to be devices for students and teachers to use. Thus, much of the past couple weeks has involved updating, preparing, and evaluating equipment at the school. And, while I do enjoy being helpful when it comes to setting up a computer or moving a piece of equipment, the needs at my new school have been extreme (to say the least). The most amazing part, though, is that I have both been able to put in some extreme hours and been able to stay reasonably calm and upbeat during the process.

My work yesterday, with extremely dated Microsoft Windows PCs, did stretch my patience to its limits, but I wrapped up much early than I did on my other two excessively late nights the previous week — 10:30 PM this time (rather than 1:30 AM and 12:30 AM for the other nights). All of it, though, underscores for me how toxic my previous job had become for me. Had I attempted even one night where I worked close to midnight (doing anything), I would have been recovering for days. Now, at my new job, I have have had three ridiculously late nights within a 10-day period, yet I still have energy and enthusiasm (which is truly remarkable given that overwhelming tedious nature of the work each of those nights). I fully realize that I cannot afford any more nights that stretch far into the evening, but the fact that I have done so multiple times and still have something in the tank is mind-blowing to me.

I share all of this to underscore how deeply stress can impact a person with narcolepsy. The amount of physical, mental, and emotional energy that I expended in my previous job is staggering. Certainly, narcolepsy makes my life difficult, but battling those internal elements (brought on by external realities and my perceptions of them) exacerbated every aspect of my narcolepsy. And, the cycle of facing those stressors, wasting more energy on them, getting more run down, and then finding those same stressors even more insurmountable became its own form of torture. I find it staggering that so much of my limited energy went into simply surviving each day.

The exciting insight for me is that embracing something for which I have enthusiasm (rather than battling aggravations) gives me energy rather than sapping it. The lesson is made even more clear to me in my current situation because the reason for the late nights is mind-numbing boring work — updating software, setting up student PCs, and setting up digital services. Although those activities could prove to be stressors for me in other circumstances, I can (and do) find purpose in them at this time because they will benefit my new colleagues and our students. It also gives me hope as I begin looking for areas of “passion” within my non-work life. And that prospect is truly thrilling. For much of the last 6 years (when I was diagnosed) and even farther back than that, I have only given up activities I have loved and enjoyed in an attempt to survive. Suddenly, I feel like I could start looking for ways to spend free time that would bring me even more strength and energy.

After so many years of facing what narcolepsy “has cost me,” my world has turned on its head. Losing the enormous deadweight of overwhelming stress has unyoked my head and my heart. I am doing my best to stay calm in the midst of this new development, so I do not lose perspective. Balance is most definitely the watchword for me these days, but it is wonderful that hope, joy, and enthusiasm are now things I need to keep in check (rather than items completely missing from my daily life).

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Filed under Balance, Blessings, Emotions, Excitement, Exhaustion, Gratitude, Honesty, Hope, Insights, Joy, My story, Narcolepsy, Serendipity, Stress, Technology, Wisdom